In the depths of difficult relationships, we discover the strength to rise and transform.

God designed relationships to strengthen one another, care for one another, and help each other grow, all according to His love for each of us. His design is to make every one of us more like Jesus. 

We are not called to have perfect relationships. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Nor are we called to live in chaotic or toxic relationships. In fact, few relationships are in constant turmoil. However, the bible tells us in 2 Timothy 3:2-4, “‭‭For people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, inhuman, implacable, slanderers, profligates, brutes, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.” People with these types of personalities tend to create turmoil within their relationships. 

Years ago, one of my most treasured relationships was in peril. For years, it was a constant battle. At times, it was a battle between each other; at other times, it was a battle to find the right resources for my loved one and for me, and then at some point, it became a battle to sustain the will to stay in a relationship with my loved one. The battle had worn me thin. Emotional wounds bled everywhere. The audacity of hope kept me hanging on when all I really wanted to do was let go. At some point, I could no longer see past my own pain.  There was no way I was going to let this person hurt me any longer. I was going to do whatever I could to protect myself. 

What I failed to recognize is the enormity of the pain my loved one had been experiencing themselves. I knew something was wrong, but I minimized my loved one’s experiences and focused on my own. You can’t change another person, so like all the experts say, I gave up; rather, I was about to. My own pain and suffering blinded me so my vision shrank to see only what I saw in the mirror.